Sometimes, we may start to ponder thoroughly the methods to speak to a particular person as to topics, manner and even the setting as well. Common sense will tell that not all conversations will work out, and we will start to blame the person, ourselves or even God, where we didn’t know that the problem is stemming from such a frivolous mistake – speech.

No, don’t blame your look. Excluding the handsome, masculine and the tall ones, there are a slew of people who are able to make good conversation without using their external qualities, for proof, go to facebook and browse some pictures of your friends who you think they are worse than you. Luck has no role to play here, the number of people in this world are constant and everyone enjoys the same privilege as we do.

Below is the stages where a good conversation is viable.

Initial kick-starter

Usually we start off by a “hi”, or by a “what’s up?”.

Credit to Gan: Don’t make a conversation, no matter how short it is to comprise of only a “double hi”.

Jess: Don’t keep smiling all the while, smile when you greet the person or to start a conversation to make the person feel like your smile is genuine.

Yap: Avoid asking expected answer like “how are you” where you will most probably get a “fine”.

Nesh: Look at the person’s expression and circumstances, start off a good kicker, like if he’s looking happy and in a jovial mood, ask him “do you just got some jackpot and you want to share with me?”. It will do much better than a “how are you” followed by him telling you the what he is actually having.

I’m still young enough to enjoy naivety, but old enough to have my own discretion to disregard it. As we’re getting older, desires will come inadvertently, from love to sex, from studies to graduation, and from void, to composure (or what people say, self-actualization).

As such, having exorbitant amount of cravings, we do find ourselves contradict ourself at times. For instance, we want to be healthy, but we also want to have drugs, cigarettes, and driving recklessly or whatever insane entertainment that ever came across your mind. But for young people like me, I do have a few dire cravings in me – love, money and studies.

“I want it all, and I want it now”, like how they sing it.

It occurs to me(being a really thoughtful person regarding everything, really, everything in life) pertaining to “how do I achieve those desires”. Undoubtedly no more, our life IS a road, not even similar to a road. We choose how to go to a destination, and with whom, at what time the clock ticks to be there; we are the master of our future. Still, it requires methods as to how we get there, whether by train, cab, car, flight or walk if it would please you.

I am amazed to find out that we are living through daily algorithms and everything we have done, were done by formulas. For example, on normal circumstances you can tell your friend to get lost, and he or she will get angry, and sadly to say there is no other way out. We are so obsessed with living algorithms and we have successfully bound ourselves to some self-created conventions, such as the word “I love you” could make your beloved so happy while I see no difference in “I love you, therefore we can’t be together”, in fact there mean the same thing – love.

And losing all the nonsense, I am here to provide some methods of achieving various aims in our lives, not to say that those are effective, but it’s proven and tested by the people surrounding us and it would work.

In fact that the theory is on the other way of our perception, how can we get by not giving out something? Can we get brilliant (or above average) results by not giving out some effort to study? Can we get someone to love us by being aloof? Can we learn something if we do not emit thoughts?

There are many live examples to adduce as well, for instance the purpose behind attending a party primarily is for the sake of satisfaction, but indirectly we’ve invoked the “give and take” theory by attending to the party, we impliedly invited the host of the pertaining party to attend yours for your future events. Notwithstanding of expressly invitation, sometimes ‘less is more’ and silent may do its job, tacitly.

For it be the reason, when we intend to obtain something, should we try give out first? While we’re so desperate for people to notice and shed blessing to us, should we do it first? In life, a myriad of things require initiation to get the ball rolling. Even in sports, you have to do eye contact at times to let your team mate to know that you want to work out a plan with him, and it’s foolish to say that everything can be expressly notified.

Rugged, I think that we can’t really change something, or in other words, we can’t oppose fate. I tried so hard to procure, and it fell into their hands, onto a sprawling palm.

The world won’t wait really long for me, I had stalled for some time now, should I sprint on? or I shall prowl for another breeze of fate.

Could it be…..

Could it be that the worst hasn’t come yet,
Could it be that worst has averted,
and left me groping in void,
Could it be endurance is on the run,
or could it be life is just about test.

For could it be, life’s been rowdy,
Tumultuous, could it be,
I like, could it be?
I foresee, could it be?
The worst, how would it be?

Ordeal, life’s has it trough,
Bliss, ignorance has it say,
A choice, could it be?
Or fate, could it be.

Let me reiterate again, our lives are made of different paths and to resile after proceeding, you may be left out from the pace where everyone is moving on.

What is a life? Is it just by facing ordeals and study hard and later in life perhaps a family with a stable profession? Or similar to some squeezing their brain doing something meaningless but some still label it as a life. Should it be used subjectively or objectively?

Take smoking as an example, who doesn’t know it can curtail your lifespan by years? And yet the rich, the poor, and the ugly still sell themselves for it. I personally did a survey for this, the question was “Do you consider smoking as something detrimental to your life?”. Some said “What to do, it’s been accrued to my life; it’s my life” but those “wise men” who don’t smoke, they said “They are just living in a denial, they knew it’s harmful but still go on with it”. As such is there a distinction between a life and a lie?

The purpose of this post is that should we really take every minutiae of life meticulously? There are people like me, who are thinkers and can lay down thousand of definitions for random stuffs where no one can understand the reasoning behind. But still, thoughts are instigated by thoughts, as an example, A.V. Dicey had came out with a tremendous amount of definition pertaining to a country’s concept in relation with the constitutions. In fact anyone could come up with a definition, regardless what is it about, hence is it significant as to really do what he does?

Now comes to the happiness of living a life or lie. A life, perhaps sports like football or basketball is nevertheless considered as things which we can derive happiness from. What about a lie? Adhering your face to the computer’s monitor twenty hours a day? Some people still find it satisfactory and greater happiness may ensue than football for them.

If that’s (above paragraph) the case, why people are labelling “life” and “no life” for different things? We implicitly admitted that our lifespan is not as long as to see a tree’s rise and fall, but still our mind is so susceptible to trivial and frivolous things. The presumption which we are bound by “Rule of life” always of existence and never been refuted.

If smoking exorbitantly is considered no life, then what about burying your head in the books? Both consume an immense amount of time, but on the other way the provide satisfaction to those persons who practice it.

Secrets are the most secure and conspicuous form of thoughts. While a secret is something which is kept from other’s knowledge, it is usually disseminated from words by means of speech. I used to say that “it’s difficult to keep secrets from others, but it’s more difficult to keep secrets to yourself”. Without any doubt, no matter how secure a person is, it cannot be said that he or she can keep anything at the dark. As I’ve experienced it myself, “the good, the bad and the ugly” have equal qualities as to being secure to their friends.

Actually those who failed to conceal secrets should not be put to blame (as least not all!). The person who bears the most fault is yourself, for being the root cause of the crime, as such, you’re the victim of your crime. You know how hard it takes to keep secrets when you’re feeling desolated and being pummelled by curiosity, and what it takes to unveil the undisclosed secrets in you is just a sudden relent.

Therefore, who should be blame for the transgression? The deity or the preacher?

We’ve concluded that everyone is unique and thus we will be having different personalities, looks, backgrounds and so on, and now, every step that we’re walking, will the result of it be the outcome of a second person? As such, I wonder why people tend to take so much daily statements and criticisms into account of thoughts, it just don’t make any sense at all.

Views are comprised of internal and external views, or it can be called as subjective and objective views respectively. The subjective views are what stagger people off their track.

We tend to accept views (in here, subjective views) too seriously, although bit by bit of it constitutes a distinct perception on ourselves, somehow we value other views more than our own. For example (in a majority of people), when they intend to “ask for opinion”, they are indirectly insinuating and merging other views into them, hoping that it will attain a conventional outcome. This is blatant foolishness.

I saw so many people changed so drastically just to adapt into people’s interest, and no matter how hard they tried, at one point or moment, someone will still express discontent towards the change. My aunt is a clerk and she is currently working with about 20 colleagues. Everyday she hears gossips and criticisms from the people in the company and she had been very aware of those – to make sure she’s not the another person who bites the dust, probably by some silly “coalition” playing some boycott game. For 13 years she had been a busy person, not for the sake of work, but for the sake of getting away of negative perception towards her. For instance when she heard that “someone” does make-up too heavily, she will instantly goes to the wash room and redo her make-up (sounds silly but it’s the fact). Currently, she is one of the victim of the “game” despite her incessant effort throughout those years. Wasted huh?

I’m not abetting the attitude of having a closed mind, it’s just that we’re too susceptible by other person’s point of view which divert our actual thought. At least try getting more views before deciding for a change as there is a Chinese saying “think three times before you act”.

“It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt” has been used by many “experienced” people. When your words are not sound enough to stagger your rival, it’s better to remain silent and think of an alternative, before resorting to the foolish flaunting of baseless statement.

Referring to Chapter 1 (Defence is the best offence), have you ever been in a position where what you’re trying to say are used back on you and it ended up that you’re the one making a fool out of your blunt words? Because that often happens.

Human brain is the most defective and destructive weapon on earth, and when one tries to say something, more and more thoughts will be generated based on the initial statement, that is why the world is always inundated with numerous misconceptions and this can never be fixed due to the complacent of a human brain, if I tell you I’m the wealthiest guy on earth, you will probably start wondering “how could this be possible?” or “what an idiot”. As the brain is living in his owner, it’s lopsided towards its owner, thus its vigilance will translate every words it hear for the benefit of its owner.

Upon reaching the stop I was supposed to find a place to park my car to wait and board the bus with them. But instead I told them that I wasn’t going and they were stunned incredulously, they never thought that I would take my words seriously. And it ended up I didn’t go despite a phone call from one of them, although deep in my heart it really hurt much as hanging out with the friends is not something that can be done often and spontaneously.

Firm, is the language of leadership, it gets you respect and followers. In the past people always disrespect me because I wasn’t firm with my words. What I meant and intended were the opposite of the words I articulated, and finally my friends did not take my words seriously and it has given me a slew of troubles, really.

Which fool in the world would give up an astonishing trip with his buddies? I wouldn’t, but if it wasn’t for building respect (being firm), I am dying to go for the trip.

There are reasons behind being firm, it’s not solely to display your personality ostentatiously so that people would notice and take note of what you say in the future. Firstly, in a yes-no option, since you have to take a stand eventually, why not weigh up all the gains and losses for each option and then stay with it? Secondly, yes it’s to make people afraid of you and not to take you lightly (when you mean something you say). Thirdly, being firm is not a personality, it’s a principle – You are firm because you have faith and believe that what you’re about to do and decide is correct, not merely for the sake of the above two reasons. Fourthly, respect. Which leader in the world always speaks in jest and has no account for what he has said?

Some would think that it is stupid to give up something that I’m dying for to prove that I am firm. But if it will benefit me in the future, I would no matter what. Maybe some of you have already “proven” your rigidity, but I’m on it now, so should I writing my apology script now in case if it pisses off my friends? haha

To win, the prudent old way is to predict what comes ahead. It is absurd if you fall into a hole where you have been told and saw by your own eyes.

In a debate or argument, you have to predict and apprehend what sort of challenges will approach next. Similarly you can’t expect to enter into the exam hall unprepared, its equivalent to enter a battlefield without weapon. This is an effective skill which has been used since medieval period to achieve victory without losing much.

I had actually tested this out.

When I first moved to city, I was always irritated by sarcastic jokes, probably it is how city people speak to each other and the more I tried to counter those jokes, the more I was embarrassed by it. So I decided to blend with them more, hoping to adapt to their jokes. As time passes by, it is as if I can read their mind and know what they are going to make fun of, and that’s the time I trounce their stupidity. It happened when I was telling them I found a shortcut to a place which saved me some travel time. One of them asked “how short is the shortcut” and I immediately sensed that he did not mean to ask it sincerely, so I foiled his attempt and instead he got fooled for my unexpected answer.

To predict what comes next requires a high vigilance, and experience will be a boon to it.

To be able to predict opponent’s next move, you have to be vigilant of his act and speech with a bit help of experience. I have two real life situations to compare and contrast the prominence of their intention. First one is a friend who always speaks and does for his own benefit, it is obvious that when he approaches someone, he is trying to loot some benefit for himself, and I did predicted correctly when there was once he contacted me by phone and asked me to give him a ride to somewhere. If I accepted his request at that time, I guess I will be the fool who round and round the city where the actual destination is only somewhere reachable within minutes. The second one was a difficult one, where he is just another random friend without any obvious traits. We were not close, but I was asked to lend him some money. Rationally, we wouldn’t consider much to lend about 10 to 50 dollars to our friends. But I declined his request by experience that he approached me for the first time and it’s about getting benefit. I was correct, and now that “10 to 50 dollars” debt with someone else has lasted about 2 years already.