Definition of Life and Memories.

Really, what were we looking for after all? Wealth? Girls? Sex? Booze? While people are zealously pursuing their aims, now I have concluded that life is really a dream. One can never be perfect, thus we are said to be living in a world of chaos. I have this sudden surge of feeling within me for no reason, and I am feeling so lonely despite that I have almost what I wanted so long, an ordinary life to live. I have friends, a decent family a good environment for growth, everything for an ordinary person to live an ordinary life.

The reasoning behind this “sudden feeling” is I’ve found out that humans can never achieve a satisfactory outcome, never. This world is created for everyone, hence no one can be satisfied of without being someone made worse off, in simple words, no one can be fully satisfied. Take the most abundant example, money. People are always crazy for money and some resulted to underhanded method to obtain them. After one is rich, he or she will achieves other demand. But when one really got everything, what can he do after that? When you have a heaps of money, houses, girls, everything, what else can you do? When you got your private jet and 20-story bungalow, what else can boost your satisfaction? A 100-story bungalow?

Some may not be money fanatic and they just wanted a so called “ordinary and simple” life. Disregard the likelihood that he or she may be distorted by money factor (e.g. sudden craze for luxury stuff), at times he may be bored of what he has, for instance his wife, his living environment or something else. However, no matter how many wives or houses he changes, he will not derive permanent satisfaction from it.

Actually I’ve been thinking as to “what were we looking for after all”, I wrote a post with similar title long ago but just minutes ago I thought about it again.

Regarding to my opinion (or post), some may say that achieving their aims is the least they can do to achieve satisfaction, or it’s better off than doing nothing and get no satisfaction. There was a saying in old times, “the bigger you get, the most responsibility you have to bear”, assuming that “bigger” refers to possessing more of your aims (e.g. richer, more popularity), then dilemmas will start to haunt you day and night. Take celebrities as example, for eastern countries, celebrities are not in favour of getting married or pregnant, because it may lose their popularity. Hence, they are bound to disguise their true self and sacrificing their dreams to live a personal life. For that reason, isn’t it worse to obtain the satisfaction by losing a fundamental part of your life?

You may think I am making no sense at all because this is life, actually I am just attesting the adversity of life. We all knew that no one is made perfect, but we never accept it. This can be related to “nothing is impossible”. We can achieve what others can, like being an outstanding musician, but if we’re not good at it, there is no point being crazy for it while our hidden talent can actually get us more than what we thought of.

[This paragraph may be sensitive, but it's only limited to my opinion and I apologize if it offends anyone] While for monks and nuns, they may be “made to contribute to the mankind and nothing more”. Ponder it again, while they are contributing to the world without expecting any returns, what are they looking for? I think it’s just meaningless to think themselves “to be born with no aim but to contribute”. Having the knowledge that they are similar to an ordinary person, what can they “contribute” to others while they have nothing at all?

In conclusion, I have no idea what was, and what am I looking for. Achieving a not-so-lonely life is not viable anymore as I’ve lost someone who I can never exchange for what I have right now, or even in my distant future.

P/S: I just felt like spilling what I just felt and thought of out of the blue.