Definition of Life and Memories.

Everyone on earth has their own definition on every aspects, including ‘love’. Besides from disclosing every truth that I have been finding for, I realized that the distinct perception in humans has rendered us to devise our own escape instead on harping on other’s idea. In simple words, I used to think that the best advice is from those who went through it before, but I was wrong. Very wrong.

A key is used to unlock a lock, but it may not be able to unlock every lock. A valid example is the way to achieve social proximity. While someone may be good in drawing attention, it does not necessarily means that you or me can do the same too by imitate them.

I just discovered this ‘view’ days ago, while I’ve been thinking why people just can’t be the same, provided the statement ‘nothing is impossible’ to be true. I also remembered when I was so keen to have a girlfriend and I have been asking ways to woo them, it was ended up with thousands of methods in my mind with all of them to no avail. I guess it’s up to us to plan our own escape, while other opinions and advices are merely persuasive to help you. Same goes for studies (another good example), some are good in good memory, whereas some are good in good brain power, hence they just can’t adopt one method which is proven to be the most effective method.

We are a library per se, we own our world of definitions, we view things differently and we deal with it distinctively than others. When we failed an approach, we will seek for another until and the approach which works will be stored permanently in our brain, this how we grow.

Last night, there was this person (can’t disclose the real name) messaged me in Windows Live Messenger (or msn) and told me about something he is facing. His problem was kind of common, but a little intricate. He told me that her father is having an affair and the family is falling apart with his siblings and everyone in his family is getting mad over squabbles of their own problems. He’s getting frail day by day and contemplating suicide. It’s perceivable that he may resort to such thought when he’s caught in so many dilemmas. He has procured a better family since years ago when all the discord and complications arose, but to no avail. He’s almost out of his sane mind.

When I saw all his messages, it was like a great blow to my heart to think that such thing does happen. What I can advice on is based on solid facts, thus I told him that a family is like several person carrying a log, huge log. When one person of the group is completely jaded, he still bears the responsibility of delivering the log to the destination. If he fails to toil upon the adverse situation, then the burden will be increased to the other members, ended up others have to suffer based on one’s lack of determination. We, as a human don’t live for pleasure lying ahead of us. For every pleasure we intend to attain, the more burden we have to carry. Nothing can be gained without effort.

There is a Chinese saying, one will die, you can either make your death precious and valuable, or you can die as a nobody. I know it’s not really applicable in that guy’s situation because he will not be gaining any fame or respect by just solving another plight in this world. Sometimes I wonder, since we’re going to live only once, so who cares if I intend to leave the onus to other people, as fame and prominence will not resurrect me from the grave and let me reign the world as I craved. Ironically, the opinion I made by myself has an answer to it. Since we only have one life to live, so why waste it by tarnishing the name of our forefathers? It may be frivolous to mention, but you know the torment of carrying the burden, so why let more people suffer?

As apart from some people, they provide reasonable solutions, where even the person in dilemma can thought of it. Therefore I don’t really give advice on how one should do, instead, I tell them to do what they thought is right. We are one person on earth, living one life, making one decision for every problem, one outcome to receive, hence, it’s pointless for someone to tell you what to do as you will waste that one “token” to your problem. If the problem remain unresolved, you’ll then feeling anguish for heeding the advice, problems will only get worse. So, one should use his opportunity wisely, thus when an effort to no avail, at least one has attempted, toiled, tried and shall bear no regrets to his decision.

After a conversation with one of my was-not-so-close classmate, another fact was established – we’re forever paying every due throughout our lifetime. There is a saying by Chinese that humans have to go through four inevitable processes which are being born, ageing, sickness and death. Precisely, we’re actually having things to worry everyday; when a problem is solved, another one comes right after it. Our life is more to solving problems than living a life generally.

Ironically, regardless of one’s attempts to do good for months or years, it does not reduce the amount of problems coming up before himself or herself. The issue here is, I’ve seen enough of “good” people in my life, and they ended up without getting what they are deserved to get, you know the examples. I was inspired to write this post by a song called “No one but you (only the good die young)” by Queen (which is my favourite band), indeed, the good one or the talented one dies young.

By being able to read this post, you should have gone through millions of problems and dilemmas. The strong one survives and the feeble one dies, this is very true as you can see people are suffering from emotional breakdown and bankruptcy due to their loss of composure after going through all the ordeals. As a result I can see how people have changed to adapt to their situation which don’t really serve as a remedy at all. They changed to a more gloomy, pessimistic person who I can’t recognize them any more.

People tend to put the blame on themselves when they are going through hardships, here comes the chasm, they will then develop a prejudice towards everyone, friends and family are not exception, even themselves. If I put myself with my peers, they certainly have not experienced and understood what “unlucky” is, as I’ve gone through the worst (yes, I’ve had the worst). But the irony is I did not get too carried away nor lose my composure after the “worst” happened to me, instead I carried on with my life as if nothing had happened, well maybe I’m granted for that.

Here’s the words today – A life may end, but mishap won’t. One’s problems can only be defunct when he or she dies whereas problems will be never ending. Hence I don’t see any reason one should collapse or be perturbed by incoming problems. The world won’t stop for you, therefore if you choose not to move on, you’ll be inhaling and eating other’s dust behind.

Yep, another new philosophy by the yet-to-be philosopher, heh. Just hours ago, I read an article about someone is very shy to blend in groups and participate in any group activities thus asking for remedies to overwhelm her predicament.

While I was reading the article, it’s as if I saw a replica of myself depicting in my mind, where the Nick was entangled in an endless impasse, nervous and desperate but no where to run. It was me, and now I’m glad that I’ve surpassed my past.

Have a look at a part of the article:
The days were long and I don’t know if I could withstand any of this mess running in my head right now. I’m 16 this year and I’m still having problem communicating with friends due to the shyness haunting over me from a past….Now I’m so shy to speak to anyone, worrying if they think I am worthless to chat with…I know this sounds very stupid but I don’t have the courage to speak to them. Sometimes I saw them laughing and gagging while looking at me, I don’t know and very afraid if there were talking about me. I never ignored my friends, instead I stick with them to gain their acceptance…..

Today I’m about to unveil Nick’s doctrine of “divert”sification heh.

First thing to divert is your thoughts. Old-fashioned mindset will not work on friendship. You have no grounds to think that people are treating you as a paranoid; you just have no reason to think so. As a victim once before, I knew that our brain are a pessimist, when things come before our eyes, we will start thinking all sorts of “worst case scenario” instead of being optimistic and thinking of what good will appear before ourselves. I can still remember after I braced up myself to seek for the answers myself, I was told that they thought I am ignoring them because I was too shy to speak up. And hence, none of my assumptions went right; don’t believe in your so-called instincts, intuition is not used in these situation.

Second, give yourself five seconds, ponder it again, what on earth made you think that you’re inferior than your friends? Love is detrimental per se, but friendship is not. We are all humans, I don’t see any difference in us, it’s not like they are immortal or genie that could grant you wishes. If they don’t value you, it means that they don’t deserve you after all. There is no point to beg for acceptance, instead, I’m sure you have friends who value you as a friend. As an example, I never declined any request (at least I don’t remember any) from my friends whenever they needed me, and if any of them decides to ditch me, I lose nothing, really. But take note that offering a hand to your friends could not be excessive or else you’ll eventually be their doormat.

Thirdly, be active; things don’t just fall from the sky. It took me three years to overcome this, be glad that you’ve finally met someone worse than you . This is definitely not easy, especially when your shyness was developed from young (or when your mind was infant). Even now, my fortitude is not twenty-four-seven (24/7) at my service, at times, I may have to overwhelm my timidness to make a conversation. Through my experience, if they don’t talk to you, besides of the probability of them being shy, there is also a chance of them having misconception of you, probably thinking that you’re some outcast. Therefore, be active (this might be the hardest part to achieve as far as I know, but this could be the crucial point of your success)

And now this is the best method to blend in a conversation – show curiosity. We used to bump in conversations which we have no idea what is it about and where it is going. Instead of showing a timid appearance or being silence, show curiosity. It can be used in any topics. There was once I bumped into a conversation about English Premier League where my friends are crapping about bunch of EPL players which I have no idea what is it about. I went and asked that I was interesting with football (or soccer) but I have less experience with it, remember not to show total blank in that topic even if it’s true (or they will lose their interest completely to teach a toddler to walk). And now, I can even approach them to chat about football.

What is reality? I had my own definition several years ago, I defined it as “reality is when you find shits happen and good things perish”. Reality is often seek by prying eyes of people, and yet it’s something where people tend to despise it as much as possible. “Reality” is one of the words which got me scratching my head for months just to ponder and squeeze out an effective method to overcome and take control of it.

Somehow I’ve reached an answer, just few minutes right back. For now, I would like to say, why the hell make life miserable and pathetic just to achieve “reality”? Do you realize that those who succeeded in life are those who don’t concede to reality? How many millionaire and successful people are made up of drop outs? You may retort the statement by bringing out that there may not be so many “millionaire”, but try to mull your thoughts again.

The same wise words, life is a journey, but if the journey is from New York to London, then why there are existence of Canada, Iraq, India, China and Japan? The aims of our lives can be achieved in many ways, or shall I say “any” ways and it’s not necessary to be bound with reality. Life is like a climb to the hilltop; challenges get tougher when you’re getting higher, in fact “reality” will not give any boost nor connive at your potency.

When one fails in something he had dedicated, he should be expecting the same advice and encouragement, “buck up” and the most redundant one “face your reality”. What the hell is reality? Does it mean that by facing reality everyone can succeed? One just have to move on and continues his aim and that’s all I think is sufficient to succeed.

As I’ve stated in my previous post, we can’t “right the wrong”. The only “reality” is that we can only move on when things go wrong.

P/S: I like to stand on the dissenting side, or in other words I like to oppose the majority

It’s quite true when Freddie Mercury mentioned that “I’m just a singer with a song, how can I try to right the wrong?”. I realized and concurred that things are meant to proceed on its track; things which are meant to be, are meant to be.

We are depicting a life of singers, life in a limelight, where problems can basically arise out of nothing at all and take its toll on us. Singers, whine through songs, trying their best to convey their feelings to listeners, but songs are usually a come-and-go in our lives. The songs bring their daily predicaments and bliss to the world, but in fact, are there a myriad or a slew of people stood up and offer their hand to fix their elusive matters?

It fits perfectly into our lives, that our whimpers are merely a song, it comes and go. When the song is addictive, listeners will stay, for a while, and go again. Same goes for true friend though, besides a period of “true listening”, they will still move on, unless you’re lucky enough to get a die-hard buddy (which I hoped for since countless ages ago) who serves as your part-time freelancer to placate you. Nonetheless, I believe that one already has enough “pleasure” to solve his own problems, does one really has time to serve as an appeaser?

When a dilemma or an ordeal surfaces, we can’t really do much if things fizzle, can we? Take a student as an example, if he fails his studies, would whimpers and tears bring back the past and amend his mistakes? If he could, this world won’t be as messed up as it seems now, or maybe we could watch Michael Jackson and John Lennon live again.

Remember the “words of wisdom” from Beatles? I guess the best way to move on is to let it be. A real life example, several years ago I messed with my brother’s computer and it caused the presentation file (which he has to submit by the next day) to be corrupted. I was in utter anguish and distraught for my fault, and ended up nearly fainted for “over-depression”. Ironically, he did not expressed any signs of distress, and I finally got to know that he actually made a backup for it. Bummer!

The significance of this post is that we should move on and learn to condone when things don’t seem to go right, the world is already a messed up place to live in and it’s about to get worse. Since people believe in miracles, why can’t they apply it when they are amid clutter?

Move on!

Eyes are dubbed the tool of a human “for see” and foresee things, it’s seemingly true but some have outbeaten us – the blind people.

My college is situated near a institution for blind people, where I can witness how those vision-impaired people make their way from the doormat of the institution to KL Sentral (a place where there are several public transport like light railway transit). They used to walk alone, with no doubt the pavement which is made blind-friendly is not sufficient to boost their poise to walk such far distance, I’m truly impressed.

Their brain have replaced their eyes as a tool “for see” and foresee as well, mainly due to the number of times using the same road over and over again, they can “see” better than us, where some of us could even slipped or tripped by obstacles and slippery floors, they don’t. I’ve noticed that their steps are very strong to nail them down to the floor for every step they take, for the reason why they don’t fall on wet days, astonishing.

We have eyes, but we don’t even use it for vision. I used to say – eyes are the root of evil. Eyes can be as innocent as a dead volcano, yet it can be deadly. The reasoning behind all reasons  for a bad thought to kindle is the eye. Take any crime or fault as example, the most distinctive and infamous one – rape. With eyes, one has no problem carry out his “operation” provided that he is sane and of sound mind. A brawl, it takes 100 percent eye power to help your fist to reach your opponent. A murder, where eyes can get rid of someone with a gun at point blank.

The same road, walked for a myriad of times, where one even has knowledge of the number of footsteps needed to reach a place. Nonetheless, what for? Your eyes have boast too much of your confidence that you’ve lost vigilance. With me being no exception, we do slip in the same path where we used over and over and over again for numerous times. Vision-impaired people are vigilant and embedded with high awareness, they have “eyes” that foresee, no matter how many times they’ve passed the same path, they pass as if it was the first day they are using the path.

So, my human, what are our eyes for?

After reading plans from strategist on the olden days, I have to concur that “Defence is the best offence” is the best strategy to win in any occasion (at least most of them you will stand a better opportunity to win).

In debates or arguments, this statement fits perfectly for the situation. While some people may think that the converse – Offence is the best defence may be useful, but it will only further widen the rift of losing. For instance, you could pin point your opponent with all your valid points, provided most of your facts are true, your opponent can just seize one of your points with flaws and turn it into his offence, it may be trivial and fearless since you’re able to provide answer to the counter-question, but do you realize that the burden and point of view (of third party) has already shifted to you? Despite your long breathtaking sentences, if you were to made a small mistake in answering the questions where your opponent made from your points, your blade will be facing backwards towards you, rendering all your facts worthless.

An offence made by other’s offence can be impenetrable. When someone started an offence towards you, from his first sentence, you can keep himself breaking his coconut head by converting and salvaging his points and make them his questions instead.

This statement is applicable even if you’re on a losing side. The “offence” will keep himself busy by answering to his own pressure points. This is equal to one destroying himself by his own intentions.

Example:

Dumbo: Hey why did you steal my pen?
Nick: Did I?
Dumbo: If not, why am I even bothered to question you.
Nick: Because I did not do it, why me? (Here, I made some unnecessary offence, but the burden has shifted to Dumbo)
Dumbo: Because I saw you blablablablabla.
Nick: Me? How can you assure that’s me?
Dumbo: Because I saw you blablablablabla.
Nick: You should get your eyes fixed, you can’t even differentiate someone else with me.

At this point, he will need some time to piss on himself and then get himself pissed again when he rekindle the argument. Have you noticed that I did not make any offence instead of keeping myself in a defence position? By that he doesn’t even has a slight chance of shifting the burden on me.

Hahah, another mystery in me is solved today! I have a lot of doubts when I plan to approach a potential girlfriend and start hanging out with her, for instance I will have the thought that she might be annoyed when a guy suddenly appears in her life. I am a very far-sighted person, for every actions I made I have a very precise and throughout plan for it, in fact I am afraid of failures, actually I shall say I am zealous to avoid failures more than making fail attempts and learn from the mistakes.

Today’s quote from Nick,

If you are the one, then wrong attempts will not deter me from loving you

A simple sentence, brought me a clear insight of love. The sentence means that if the girl is destined to be yours, then your wrong attempts, regardless how pointless or how naive your actions were used to get her will not be the villain to failures. It’s very true(for me at least), if a girl can’t understand your effort on her, she doesn’t deserve you. You pay your guts, you pay your pride, you pay your dignity to indulge her in your life, if she undermine it, she doesn’t deserve to have you.

If the girl belongs to you, she will go no where but only to you. Do your mistakes on her and she will not budge away, that’s the girl that is yours.

I used to hear ‘a friend in need is a friend indeed’, assuming it’s true, but I truly never experience it before. In fact I found out my friends do care about me, but is tenderness from words really enough? If it does, then what’s the point for us to be granted a brain? I mean, when I’m in deep thoughts or dilemma, yes, many ‘are you okay or not?’ but it’s mere words! I don’t care if I’m being too sensitive or whatsoever, but can’t someone do more than words? Even a pat could means 10 times the caring than words.

Sometimes, they know how miserable I am, but for no reason they just ignore it. Perhaps I’ve been too caring for people, always be by their side when they need help. Moreover some will just deepen my wound by saying something pointless, you don’t want examples.

I am a full-time thinker, and my brain works a lot than normal people. Before doing anything I will be considering the consequences and possibilities of failure, and that is also what made me being treated as a dumbfuck. I have tried to share my problems, but the feedback I got is extremely outrageous, all nonsense. “Go play games?” craps while I just need someone to talk to me.

Now I am thinking how to let them stay miserable, perhaps by sitting back and watch them fall with my own eyes like what I’ve seen by myself. I know, after them seeing this post they will be like so regretful and tons of drama will be appearing, this time, get lost.